I find the phrase “holy guacamole” somewhat misleading. Holy things are revered. They are viewed from afar. They are stored in stone cathedrals and world museums.

They are never scooped onto chips, dolloped onto quesadillas, or spooned directly out of the bowl.

By these guidelines, this is decidedly unholy guacamole.

Cinco de Mayo was as good of an excuse as any to buy avocados and make my favorite electric-green dip. I generally try to limit my produce purchases to those grown locally, but the convergence of both a holiday AND a dinner invitation were enough to merit an exception.

The cilantro on the porch, however, was ready to harvest! After researching HOW to harvest cilantro without killing the plant and preventing future growth, I went to the balcony armed with scissors and a bowl and voila! Really fresh cilantro!

Guacamole is one of those things that can be prepared “perfectly” in a million different ways. Some guacs are smooth and creamy, some are chunky and spicy, some have tomatoes, some don’t. Personally, I’m in the no tomato camp. If I want tomatoes, I’ll eat salsa from the other dip bowl, thank you very much.

If this dip looks like a recipe for you, I’ll offer one word of caution: it’s reeeeally easy to make guacamole too thin. Most recipes I’ve seen suggest mashing up the guac before adding other ingredients, or even using a food processor. But if you are using ripe avocados, you won’t need more than a few mashes with the back of a spoon to achieve a creamy dip speckled with tender slices of avocado. Divine.

Or is it holy?


Adapted from Chipotle Fan

Note: I started this with two avocados. After sampling, I sliced up a third. I recommend starting with two and adding the third if you want it really avocado-y. Which I do.

2-3 large avocados, sliced
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
2/3 c red onion, chopped
2 T fresh cilantro, chopped
1/2 T lime juice
1/2 T lemon juice
1 heaping tsp kosher salt (or other course salt, but I like kosher)

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix with a spoon just until ingredients are combined. Dip should be creamy but should still include solid pieces of avocado. Or mash it up completely, it’s your guac, I don’t mean to impose. Scoop into a pretty little dish and serve with yummy corn chips.

Another note: Like apples, avocados react with oxygen and turn an ugly brown during storage. This doesn’t mean it has gone bad, but it won’t be that pretty bright green anymore. If you plan to store this for more than a couple of hours, cover with plastic wrap directly on the surface of the dip to keep out as much air as possible.